Stop Comparing & Love Yourself

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*probably you got to calm yourself, travel and feel the air from the nature


Dear my lovely friends,

This time, the topic may touch the inner side of your heart. Sorry if it doesn't, at least I tried :)

As human, naturally we are always intrigued to improve ourself by different aspects. Perhaps we are being inspired by the people we watch on TV, read on the magazine or even our close relatives. That is 'natural'. The hunger to be successful and accomplish our goals.

But please stop until you reach the point of comparing yourself to another individuals, you won't be able to be better from everyone else you know. That is impossible as humans were born as unique individuals, one may have a better science skill while the other one may have a better musical skill. One may have a smoother hair while the other one may have a more rough hair. The definition of beauty and smart is unable to be defined in such a single stigma or perception. We are meant to cover each other with our imperfections, the will to understand each other.

I am lucky to be born in a family who appreciate each other, with our own weakness and strength. I gave up Kumon (a super hard math course) long time ago, while my sister managed to reached the highest level when she was still 9 or 10 years old. On the other hand, I survived in one of the top classical piano school in Indonesia, famous with its super strict teaching and curriculum. Don't you find us different?

Until the point that you are able to appreciate yourself, you won't be complete as a human being. Self-appreciation and self-love are the keys for your success, as you put your trust on yourself. Most people aren't able to maximize their potentials due to lack of confidence and lack of trust. This is something that cannot be taught through theory, you will face challenges in life that involves this matter.

Learn to appreciate what you are good at, and how to  turn your weaknesses into strengths. The more you discover your potentials, the more confidence you may gain through your life experience.

Just so you know, I was a very shy and silent kid back in the past. Perhaps it is due to my story in the past of being bullied and disliked at school. I was a normal kid, loving my kindergarten life, until at some point one group of popular ladies threw me out from their group without any reason. I kind of feel that I think more mature than my age, ever since I am 4, as I faced a lot of things related with friendship and hates. I rather be alone and play on my own, or draw on paper and sketch on my beautiful imagination. I tend to be closer to the boys as they are not drama-queen, and this lasted until now (hey I'm grateful I have some selected high quality girlfriends as well now ;) ).

Based on my early childhood journey in kindergarten, I grew up as a shy kid during primary school. Being extremely unconfident of myself. Feeling stupid. Feeling ugly. All those negative thoughts surrounded me and brought a negativity towards myself. It was my darkest days, ever.

The dark years did not last too long, I slowly opened up myself during primary school as I get to know more people from the school and non-school community. I followed my mom's advice to join extracurricular activities to make more friends and improve my talent. I am glad my parents are very supportive of me, they contributed to my 'crazy' positive self-development! If one kid may only have 2 extra school lessons, I had 7 different extra school lessons in a week from weekdays to even weekend. It is very usual of me to have 2 different extra school lessons in a day, and by the time I got home it will be around 6 / 7 PM already. It was not without any negative perception from outsiders, a lot of people around my family told my parents that I am too busy as a kid. But they didn't care as long as I want to do it, I actually joined lessons based on my own willing. Yeah proud of me! :p

I may not being in the most popular group of kids during my primary years, however I made new friendships and found out my potentials as I was being kept super busy with various kind of lessons. From English course, Japanese course, basketball, piano, guitar, modelling! Hey I won several modelling competitions back then anyway! Now I proved myself that I managed to be a confident and independent individual, despite of what people think of me back in the past. And I still don't know why bunch of people hated me so much when I was a kid, I wasn't a wild kid! Even, I would follow my friends around and say yes all the time. I was being 'too nice' and that is an ongoing thing. It sustained, sometimes in wrong condition. Haha.

Then, my parents made the right choice. They decided to move me to a very casual-vibe school with extreme friendliness from its people. One of the best periods during my school life :) I was kinda surprised that there were only 10 kids in my batch! But that is where I found my precious friends, and our friendship last until now (I graduated in 2008, so can you imagine how long we have been friends with?)!

I am more focused to my self-development and unleashing my potentials during my middle school year in the new school, I am inspired and inspiring others too. The golden years made me into a new 'Bella'. 

I signed my contract with a respected music major label in Indonesia when I was 14 years old. Glad I started my career young, I discovered a lot of things that a normal 14 years old girl won't know. Being cheated on during my career, frenemy in the industry, problematic friends, all that stuffs. But it won't be fair if I only mention the negative things I learnt from this journey of mine! I made friends with popular idols, fellow artists, being on TV and radio frequently, free make-up every single DAY! So many perks, and oh, I have my own pocket money from my band :) Alhamdulillah. At least I was not such a burden when I was a teenager, I am happy that I made my family proud with my achievements in such a young age. Ok, I'm not being too arrogant but this journey made my future clearer and as I matured faster, I am able to direct myself into the right path moving onwards.

Not without its drama, I faced betrayal and I lost some best friends due to miss-understanding. Well, if you are reading this blog, you know who you are :) I still consider you as my best friend as we used to hangout altogether, even though we're kind of cold now. Yes, you.

"You learn from mistakes. You learn by experience."

Yes, there will still be obstacles along your journey of life. But doesn't matter what, you are the best person who understand yourself best. You learn from the imperfections in life :) Right?

2019 for me ~ another journey to improve my career and personal goals

As I started my career in such a young age, I feel that I control my emotion and intuition better in my current profession. I am currently having an 'intermission' period as a musician, however I am still preserving my creative side until I have the right source to support my creative career. As a young expatriate, I enjoy myself being nomaden and calling some countries my 'home'. A once shy kid with no close mates, now enjoying herself and her career globally. Insyaallah, I will find more opportunities abroad in the near future (business and my creative career).

Now it's time for my another progress in life, I decided to go back to the UK to take my masters. I was not so confident of getting into good school and being a student again as I graduated in 2014. Need some creative juice to push me as a bright young 'expat' (the word sounds so posh man), in order to gain a better career I have observed how people surrounds me made it. Another focused education on the thing that I like with a great prospect, digital world and marketing. I want to work a tech-related company and create my own startup! And I do believe I can make it work!

Xoxo,

Bella Mazaya